"Congratulations Julie! I know I'm not supposed to say so, but I was rooting for YOU." Ms. Lewis was patting me on the back as she walked with me to Mr. Jackson's office. "I'm looking forward to hearing you Thursday night - I just know you'll do great."
"Julie, my Valedictorian, come on in and have a seat. How are you doing? I knew you would come through with that 4.0 in the end. You've never disappointed us Julie - which is why I know that you will deliver a speech that will make us all proud."
I sat in Mr. Jackson's office dutifully taking notes for the next hour on what he considers to be "appropriate content that will represent not only my guiding principals that lead me to success, but the school's as well". He makes his expectations clear and even gives me copies of some of the more traditional, as he called them, Valedictorian speeches from some of my predecessors. Speeches that he thought would most resemble my speaking style.
As I sit in the quiet of my bedroom, I begin to obediently review all the information Mr. Jackson gave me, atempting to push aside the anxiety beginnig to mount inside me. I fire up the computer and start to dig in to some research. I google 'inspirational speeches' and am provided quite an impressive arsenal of quotes. I make note a few from Thomas Edison, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Walt Disney. I google 'great leaders of our time' and get quite a diverse list that includes Winston Churchhill, Martin Luther King, and Hitler....I do get some amusement in thinking about Mr. Jackson's reaction to weaving a Hitler quote or two into my speech. My outline is just beginning to form in my mind, my confidence taking the place of anxiety. " It's just a research paper" I'm telling myself as I am jolted out of my head and into the awful noise coming in through my window. I look out to see Maggee laying in the grass, spread eagle. "Mom! Please see what Maggee is doing - I'm kind of busy right now. Mommmmm?!" I watch Maggee for a few more minutes and ... no mom.
I impatiently find my way to the backyard to where Maggee lay and ask if she is okay. She stops her 'humming' long enough to answer. "Hey Julie. Want to sing with me? Lay down right here Julie." She pats the ground next to her, and I know that if I oblige I will likely be on my way quicker. I settle into the warm, dry itchy grass and impatiently ask her what we do next. "Start singing the song of your heart with me." I tell her I don't know that song, and have begun to wonder if I did in fact choose the quickest get away option. "Of course you do, silly. It's the sound your heart makes when love wants to come out. Ssshhh....just listen."
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This was a tough one! There are beautiful details here -- I was especially struck by the movement with which you describe her google search -- something so mundane, but that snatch of description is especially vivid. The scene leans heavily on summary still, and drifts away from dialogue -- the goal of the exercise. It looks like the very tail end of the scene begins to shift more towards that kind of dialogue -- it would be interesting to see more!
ReplyDeleteA purely technical note -- be sure to give each new speaker her own paragraph!